More on Sexual Freedom
I have been thinkng a lot about how too many people, especially women, are so secretive about their sexuality. They act as if people will think less of them if it were known that they actually derive pleasure from sexual things. I am not saying everyone should make videos of themselves to show everyone what they do, but come on, people – this isn’t the 18th century. Women can and do enjoy sex. Some don’t and I think they are the ones who cause the problem. They assume that everyone is as non-sexual as they are and think something is wrong with those of us who do enjoy using our bodies for pleasure. Our OWN pleasure and that of our partner, I should say because I have heard lots of women say “she only acts like that because guys like it”. Me? I am not trying to please anyone except myself and the one I love. Yes, I love attention but I don’t need it to feel validated. Is it so hard to believe that some women like to give AND receive pleasure?
I find it odd that the people who think poorly of women in porn, “sluts”, etc seem to believe that sex somehow degrades women. They claim to be defending women but they are really doing more harm to women’s sexual freedom. OK, much of the porn out there is clearly for the guy who is never going to touch a real woman so maybe they have a point about porn. And the industry does have a history of exploitation. But the attitude that being sexually (hyper)active makes a woman somehow not as good as “normal” women is one of the most limiting, backward, and degrading things you could say about a woman. If you don’t like sex, aren’t comfortable in your own skin, or have your own issues with feeling “filthy” – that’s your problem. We need to recognize that it is more than OK to be sexual – it is a good thing. It is good to look and be looked at, get aroused, feel and give pleasure and enjoy the gifts we have been given.
It isn’t just women. My BF has said how being with me makes him understand what it must be like to be gay and come out of the closet. Huh?! What he meant is that in previous relationships, sex was regulated by uptight women who used it as a means of controlling him – and there was no way in hell he could ever let his kinkier desires be known. Sex as a weapon – I could go on about that, but he can put that in his own blog. I totally understand it because I know that if I told any of the previous men in my life about any of my more secret desires, they would have run screaming. It just happens that we both have compatible kinks. So we are lucky to be able to feel so free. I just wish everyone could.
I’ll have to tell the story of how we met some time…
Subscribe
